Sean Goedecke is a freelance writer trying to visit every cafe in Australia. If you enjoy his articles, it can't hurt to click the 'like' link at the bottom or subscribe.
Published November 25th 2011
As Australians, we like to think there's a little Ned Kelly in all of us: some larrikin impulse that drives us to defy authority and break the law. Before you go hammering yourself a suit of iron armour, though, be aware - there are still some Sydney laws out there that you can break without getting shot at by the police.
This probably won't happen either.
Dress Up As A Cat Burglar
Instead of a metal hat, why not go for a stylish black bowler? Get your skinniest black jeans, your comfortable felt shoes and a dark jacket - oh, and remember to cover your face with shoe polish. It's illegal to walk the street in this outfit. Why? Black clothing and shoe polish was the outfit of cat burglars (not tight-fitting leather and a whip, unfortunately). Only a criminal would need to dress up like that, the reasoning went. Ridiculous.
Then again, maybe they had a point.
Drive A Taxi (With Nothing In The Trunk)
This one's a holdover from the ancient days where taxis were made of wood and had horses on the front. To prevent cruelty to animals, or just ensure that paying customers wouldn't have to endure unnecessary hold-ups, cab drivers were required to have a bale of hay in the back at all times. This law's still on the books - so if you drive a taxi now, you'd better have a trunk full of straw.
Horse Around At A Bar
This man is on his way to the pub.
Show up to your local with a horse in tow, and people are likely to raise eyebrows. At the very least, you won't be allowed in - but legally, you should be. Even more, a bar owner is required by law to stable, water and feed the horses of his patrons. Technically, this isn't so much breaking the law as it is forcing someone else to break the law, but it's a hell of a good time.
Sure, there are easier ways to break the law - shoe polish isn't cheap, you know, and neither are horses - but when you factor in the costs of a court case, it might break even. The police aren't likely to drag you away in handcuffs for wearing all black; nor are they likely to conduct spot checks to make sure taxi drivers have their hay. This weekend, trot into the city on a horse in full face paint. Make Ned Kelly proud.
Lol, now I know why he was so keen to look after our horses. A few years ago my friends and I turned up unannounced at a suburban pub in our horses. The publican couldn't do enough for us, he roped off a coral for the horses in a corner of the beer garden, brought out big buckets of water and shouted us all a drink, while apologising for not having any horse feed there.