The 3 Best Illegal Things To Do in Sydney

by Sean Goedecke (subscribe)

As Australians, we like to think there's a little Ned Kelly in all of us: some larrikin impulse that drives us to defy authority and break the law. Before you go hammering yourself a suit of iron armour, though, be aware - there are still some Sydney laws out there that you can break without getting shot at by the police.



Dress Up As A Cat Burglar

Instead of a metal hat, why not go for a stylish black bowler? Get your skinniest black jeans, your comfortable felt shoes and a dark jacket - oh, and remember to cover your face with shoe polish. It's illegal to walk the street in this outfit. Why? Black clothing and shoe polish was the outfit of cat burglars (not tight-fitting leather and a whip, unfortunately). Only a criminal would need to dress up like that, the reasoning went. Ridiculous.



Drive A Taxi (With Nothing In The Trunk)

This one's a holdover from the ancient days where taxis were made of wood and had horses on the front. To prevent cruelty to animals, or just ensure that paying customers wouldn't have to endure unnecessary hold-ups, cab drivers were required to have a bale of hay in the back at all times. This law's still on the books - so if you drive a taxi now, you'd better have a trunk full of straw.

Horse Around At A Bar



Show up to your local with a horse in tow, and people are likely to raise eyebrows. At the very least, you won't be allowed in - but legally, you should be. Even more, a bar owner is required by law to stable, water and feed the horses of his patrons. Technically, this isn't so much breaking the law as it is forcing someone else to break the law, but it's a hell of a good time.

Sure, there are easier ways to break the law - shoe polish isn't cheap, you know, and neither are horses - but when you factor in the costs of a court case, it might break even. The police aren't likely to drag you away in handcuffs for wearing all black; nor are they likely to conduct spot checks to make sure taxi drivers have their hay. This weekend, trot into the city on a horse in full face paint. Make Ned Kelly proud.

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Why? Because there's a criminal inside all of us.

When: Anytime.

Where: Anywhere you can get away with it.

Cost: Free.

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